Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?