I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
This baby is an asshole
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize