remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize