shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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