if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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