He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
