What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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