I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
