did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
