You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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