I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
