I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
