Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
