what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
