So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
