Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
