Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize