you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
