You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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