and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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