i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
