Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
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I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
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If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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