Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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