only if we run a train.
done.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
