I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
