I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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