I could have mohawked her pubes.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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