Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
