I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
