Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
