Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
