Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
