Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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