No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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