Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
