My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize