champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize