Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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