So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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