Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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