im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
