I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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