he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?