she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?