they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.