the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
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i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
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HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say