I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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