her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
