We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
