Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
