the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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