so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
