I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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