no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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