He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
