I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
