If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
