I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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