she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
