He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
