I am in a vortex of obligation.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
