i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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