Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Church boner. Awkwardddd
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
