Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
