i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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