yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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